It Is Not All Gravy

Your Grandmother (mine, yours, their Generation at large) would probably not call what passes for Gravy around here Gravy. 

Yes, its brown and I serve it over roast beef and egg noodles. 

Mashed potatoes, french fries, Sunday's Turkey all get a bath in something vaguely reminiscent of the same sad concoction. 

It comes from a packet marked McCormick and while it gets the job done, the dubious texture at this stage in my culinary career...well its just inexcusable.

Flavor points? 5/10. 

My meat's well seasoned, so I skate on that. 

Visually? 2/10.

Not so much on a colloidal blend. 

I'm not a bad cook. 

So why is it that packet gravy

 (or heaven forbid- gravy from scratch!)

 eludes me so consistently and with such disdain? 

The lumps in my gravy practically taunt me as I stir.

As Autumn continues to tumble towards Winter, 

thoughts of bountiful harvest feasts 

spread across a well set table fill my head. 

But the gravy boat looms, threatening to sink the perfection of 

my prowess back into amatuerville.

 Eleven years in the restaurant industry 

and you'd think I'd have this down cold by now. Nopes. 
Check back for when I talk about Appetizers & Seamless Crescent dough. 
That's my jam.
But this being my first holiday season as a Fiancee 
(wanna see the ring again?),

 I'd like to score high marks.

Don't lets remind me

that Gravy to any of you who call Grandma "Nona" 

is in fact red, tomato based and belongs on a different type of noodle. 

The Viva Italiano atmosphere of my work environment means at least  3 people a week request extra gravy on their penne alla whatever.

As a Brazilian born woman raised by Irish German parents, 

this never ceases to make me smile.

So what's a Lady o' the Manor to do? 

Call it quits and just buy the jarred stuff? 

 Whisk until my biceps are Schwarzenagger worthy?

 Gentleman he is, K keeps his opinions to himself, 

but honestly dearest Kitchen Wizards must he suffer in silence forever? 

Here's where you come in! 

Please Please Please

pass on your gravy tales, secrets, family recipes or advice. 

Better yet, if you have a gravy or roast related tale of woe or humor share that too! 

Only you can put a stop to bad gravy making.